Falter because I make connections ….Maybe its me reaching^^ #WhoKnows

This is me trying to piece together my “Limerence” for DoubleJ

 

Starting with the oldest record I have access too^^  way back in early 2014 when I was in Auckland, New Zealand and J  was in Seoul, South Korea. Daylight saving was still in place , so the time difference was exactly 4 hours. I was ahead, so If I messages around midnight , J would see it at 8pm.

Initially , it feels like I’m exhibiting mirroring behavior , some of my tweets seem to try and find common ground  or relevance to his . The rest reveal information about me or they seem to be attention seeking.

First record I have access too …

@bornfreeonekiss 잠이 안온다… 자는데 갑자기 일어 났어>__< …오밤중에 뭐야 이게-__-.. 자고 싶다😫 재중아 노래 불러죠😋
3:58 AM – 11 Feb 2014

Few minutes later , Attention seeking  or trying to stand out and be different…

@bornfreeonekiss ☆☆이 사진은 오늘 봤는데 계속 생각난다… 진짜 살아있냐 않으면 그냥 숨쉬고 있어?? 너 덕분에 잘 살고 있어😄 이거 보내면 잠이 올꺼가테.. 재중아 잘자☆☆ http://t.co/DjDDIv3XP7    4:12 AM – 11 Feb 2014

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Next day , revealed a bit about myself …

@bornfreeonekiss Jae hope you doing well? 나는 요즘에 혼자있는거 제일 좋아.. 정말 큰 소리로 음악을 듣고.. 생각을 해봐도 슬픈 생각 하나도 기억이 안나는거.. 과거 나 미래에 어떤 선택을 해도 후회 안하고있는거😄
10:05 PM – 12 Feb 2014

After this there is an incident where I sent multiple tweets in a day, All of them imply that i’m tipsy and drinking with my friends. I believe this is me making connections to a photo uploaded by J’s mate where they both are having a good drink up.

Here’s the pick J’s mate GunHee Uploaded !

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In response to this here are my tweets ( I’m  ashamed and mortified at who I used to be!)

@bornfreeonekiss ♚중 아♚친구들이랑 오늘 놀러 왔어,이미 1시간 전에 뭘 했는지 기억이안나,아리’아술취했니?…네!날씨 안더워 가끔 비도 온다..사실인 오늘만!널 잊어버 싶다!..못하는데!!왜? http://t.co/EIIzHhy6pq
7:55 PM – 13 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ♚중’아♚나 데리러 올래??….아니지 너 몯오지..아우 취소 취소!! 내가 왜그래 진짜…몰라.. 한국 말 안 배우면 되는데!! 하지만 여기까지 왔구나…실망해!! 술 줘! http://t.co/AGhMj4CNKF
8:19 PM – 13 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ♚중’아♚♚중’아♚이건 전에 보내는 메세지를 다 취소!~_~ Please!! 정신이 없어서…사진 보면 증거 있을거에요! 정신 나갔구 다시 메세지 보내면 씹어요^^ Thank U http://t.co/cbNmipRyuM

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@bornfreeonekiss 또 증거 ….우리는 오늘 좀 오버 했다 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ그래서 뭐!!나 이거 왜 보내는데…..니가 내 친구도 아닌데>_< 나 누군지 알아??…아닐껄!! 나쁜..기집애지! http://t.co/6wLlvnwV1k
9:51 PM – 13 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss 여기 멈추지 않으면 위험할 것 같아…이 마지막 사진 너를 생각하고 찍었어….아라 오늘 좀 오버 했다!! 용서해라!! 술 아직 않겠니 핸드폰을 거는 거야…안녕! http://t.co/M9tu08hlKh

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And then it looks like I stopped ! Phew!!

On the 14th , I seem to have not wished him for valentines , ignored the fact that I drunk tweet spammed him  the day before and just simply send him a

@bornfreeonekiss ♚중’아♚ 오늘 달의 반대편입니다… 뉴질랜드에서보기. 사진은 명확하지 않다 달은 너무 멀리 오늘 밤이기 때문이다. 한국에서 보면 어때?? http://t.co/NeAZZhOFw7

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Now the above tweet was sent at 11.38pm NZD , so Valentines is over in NZ not in Korea.

At approximately 8 pm Korean time I sent the below tweet ..

@bornfreeonekiss 네….어제의 일은 진짜 모른척 할 겁니다 😇 절대 소주를 다시 안마 마시을겁니다…..그건 絶対 거짓말이다 크크 크크크 해리포터 책을 듣고 있어…오디오 책 세트를 다운로드했다. 나에게 읽는 사람이 최고입니다☆
0:02 AM – 15 Feb 2014

This was probable in response to J sharing an excerpt from a book he was reading called “The living heat” by Kim Mikyung

J’s tweet said

[TRANS]
For me, this is one of the reasons we should listen attentively to other people’s voices/sounds

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Own problem is a jagged stone, even if it’s just a small jagged stone, we still fall over it. While even if others’ problem is a mountain chain, we can still climb over it without any difficulty. Could we talk about it easily because it’s other people’s problem? No. It’s because we can see everything clearly when we stand one step backward. The reason why I have been able to answer people’s questions is the same. Getting far away is a method to have a good view of everything.

What are the parts of our body that we can see with our own eyes? Just two arms and legs, stomach and chest. Even our face, the most important part, we can only see it through a mirror. Same with our back and the back of our head. Like the back of the moon, I can’t see properly the other half of my body. Maybe that’s the reason. The reason why sometimes, other people can see through my problem that quickly and accurately.

“The living heat” (살아있는 뜨거움) – Kim Mikyung

 

However , later that night he sends another tweet that has me over the moon as it seems like a response to my earlier tweet.

@bornfreeonekiss 한국말 똑바로 안 배우습니까,아직 뚫리는거 많아…..미안!! 오늘 머리 좀 아파 그래서 일찍 잔다 재중아,,,, 잘 자라 중아^^ 초콜릿을먹었니?…양치질 잊지마 ^__* http://t.co/XbQLJZw2nd
0:34 AM – 15 Feb 2014

I’ve not officially learnt Korean , so there are still a lot of mistakes…sorry! I’m going to bed early tonight as I have a little headache,,,, sleep tight J^^ Did you eat chocolates?… Don’t forget to brush your teeth ^__*

My limerence was already  in place by now and these tiny connection probably help sustain and solidify the condition.

J’s tweet mentioning chocolates was sent a few hours after this above tweet of mine.

JJ : I received one chocolate.. hehehe

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Unfortunately , I don’t have J’s time stamp anymore as he went through a tweet deleting phase in early 2015 and all the blogs that have his old tweets don’t have a time stamp either…sight!  But I had J starred as my favorite , so I was notified when he tweeted , so my response time on most occasions were pretty close to his tweet time.

So to J mention chocolates my response was …

@bornfreeonekiss ♚중’아♚ 왕정 일찍 일어났어 여기는 5시 반 😫 하 하 하 표정 뭐야 .. 너무 웃겨😄 ☆☆귀엽다 진짜!☆☆ 나중에 초코 많이 사주께 ….알았 치!! ♚중’아♚ 지금 자고 있을 테니까 *뽀뽀*.. 잘자😪
6:13 AM – 15 Feb 2014

The notification probably woke me up … I write

J I woke up super early , its 5.30 am here ( Sleepy smiley) ha ha ha What with your expression? So funny (Laugh smiley)  star star Thanks  Really! star star  I’ll buy you lots of chocolates later … okay (cutesy tone) J  your probably asleep now *kisses* sleep tight (Smiley)

 

END OF CONNECTION 1

 

15th Feb after my early morning tweet , I’ve been to work and back . One of my favorite things to do once I reached home was to tweet J.  So this evening I went for Gold!! Damn!! What was I thinking?

@bornfreeonekiss 재중 내 메시지는 오늘 더 길어질거갔다, 난 아무것도 기대하지 않는다.,그냥 저를 모르는 사람한테 얘기 하고 싶다! 요즘 마음이 무겁다…..안 들어도 괜찮아, 기억하지 안하고 싶은 사람 계속 기억해! 힘들어! 5:30 PM – 15 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss 오해하지마, 보고싶다 만나고싶다, 후회한다 그런거 아냐..그냥 기억하지 않았으면 좋겠어! 하지만 오늘 진짜 드라마처럼 설겆이할때 다시 기억났어!! 답답해 정말!! 그사람 생각이 나면 아무렇지 않았는데…짜증나!! 5:41 PM – 15 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss I’M JUST IN DEEP 蒼い孤独の (海の中) I DON’T KNOW HOW? 前に進めず (立ち止まって) 剥がれ落ちてく 偽りの破片(カケラ).이그래 기억나? 나도 모르게 내맘 이 노래랑 맞아!! 나는 괜찮다고 생각했다 6:00 PM – 15 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss 친구들도 만나고, 매일회사 갔다 오고, 맨날 행복한 거 같은데!! 가끔 이렇게 되! 이상하잖아!! 도 이상한은거, 이런 복잡하는 기분들다 설명하는것..뉴질랜드에서 살고 있는 인도여자..나 어떻게 진짜!세상 너무 심해! 6:18 PM – 15 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss 바람쐬고 올게!! 친구랑 중 나가야겠다!! 오클랜드는 오늘 중국 등불 축제를 축하 하는데…거기 갔다 올게!! 아무말 안하고들어줘서 고마워!! 재중아 너 밖에 없다 ^^….나중에 사진을 보내줄게!!Hug이랑 뽀뽀^^ 6:36 PM – 15 Feb 2014

So about an hour after this rant of mine .. J tweets

Just an expression .. and a pic!

11

12

Obviously , I’m notified and my response …

@bornfreeonekiss 재중 너 밥 좀 먹어야겠다 ^_^ 배고파 ??? 나 맛있는거 사주께 😜!!!
7:44 PM – 15 Feb 2014

I’m chiding him about being skinny  saying , J you need to eat some food already ^__^ Hungry? I’ll buy you something yummy (Smiley) !!!

END OF CONNECTION 2

That night  between 1.13 am to 1.58 am I sent J 15 tweets. Each tweet had a pic from the Lantern Festival here in Auckland.  I tweet photo spammed him… the poor guy  hehehe ^^ My last message to him read

@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 재중’아 이거 마지막이다😅 오늘 하루종일 나를 위해 있어서 고마워… 재정 덕분에 쌀것같아. 재중아 나 졸려!! 안녕 ….잘자☆☆☆☆☆ http://t.co/XUIQXZz7xc
1:58 AM – 16 Feb 2014

J this is the last one (Smiley) Thanks for being there for me all day long ….cause of J I think I’ll make it . J i’m sleepy!! bye….sleep tight  star x5

13.jpg

 

Woke up 12 hours later and tweeted 2 selfies of myself but not @J

Around 2.30pm NZ time tweeted his asking if he went to the hair salon as there are hidden cam pics up online!

Then at 8.30pm NZ time I sent him a pic of my Dinner ^^

10.30 pm NZ time , I read news online that J’s band had won the Japanese portion of their lawsuit  and  I tweeted him my Congrats and support.

Around 11.06 I send him a tweet with a link to a fan made video , chiding him about his habit of sticking his tongue out while performing…asking him if its his deliberate concept hehehe^^

I ended my twitter session at 11.24 pm NZ time with a no mention tweet saying good night with the selfie of me ^^  So today I had uploaded 3 selfies of myself that were not sent to J

I woke up at 6.58am to a tweet spam from J ..

15

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 머리카락 색깔 바뀌었어??
6:48 AM – 17 Feb 2014

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17.jpg

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 눈썹 멋지다… 원래 니 매력이근하?☆☆
6:56 AM – 17 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 재중아 필요없는거 같은데>__<
6:58 AM – 17 Feb 2014

2425

@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 알았어… 그렇게 해😊
7:00 AM – 17 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 뽀뽀???😜
7:04 AM – 17 Feb 2014

END OF CONNECTION 3

So I’ve replied to all the tweets , probably when he uploaded the as it was 3 am Korea time  or he uploaded them and went to bed and I responded to these when I woke up at 6.45 am ish NZ time .

I’ve then obviously been to work and back , no @J tweets  until later that evening . Looks like a responses to his uploaded tweets. It’s are 2 in the afternoon for him and 6 in the evening for me.

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 재중아 ☆ Wow…. 기분 어때 ??좋아😊
6:11 PM – 17 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 뉴질랜드에서 이런 것이 많아….. 여기 올래😋
6:17 PM – 17 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss ☆진짜 고생했어….. 올라 왔으니 사진은 최고다👍👌
6:22 PM – 17 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 재밌게 놀아라 !!!☆
6:24 PM – 17 Feb 2014

END OF CONNECTION 4

 

So after this I spent my days on twitter dissing skinny guys LOL! My next tweet @j was not until the 21st . On this day multiple tweets were uploaded by both of us , No Connections! I was on my tangent and he was on his ^^

23rd  for the 5th connection and then I’m posting this one … these are longer that I imagined …Phew

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 중아 상관없어 건강한 햄연 됐어^^ http://t.co/lE14HrTurF
5:45 PM – 23 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 중아 화이팅 http://t.co/3gRiINI5ep
5:56 PM – 23 Feb 2014

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@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 재중아 이건 버그 진짜 많이 웃었어…. 침대에서 넘어져서 …..중아 못살아!!
6:03 PM – 23 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss ☆ 중아 표정이 왜그래??? 웃어줄래??
6:07 PM – 23 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss♚중’아♚ 나는 너에 의해 끌리는되지 시도마다, 너는 나를 다시 빠지게 할 수있는 작업을 수행한다!!너 김재종 너무해….. 나 어떻게 진짜!!
6:38 PM – 23 Feb 2014

@bornfreeonekiss ♚중’아♚중’아 이거 봤어?? 너 그대로 있다….하나도 안 변한 거 같은데!! 너…..너 뱀파이어 마치 😀 우리 영원히 젊은 재중이 완벽해^^ http://t.co/WP1juEoRow
7:23 PM – 24 Feb 2014

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END OF CONNECTION 5

 

And I believe , that this is reaching on my part and  that when I upload the next 5 connection they are also probably me and my limerence ….up to no good!! But seems like I was dense and excited nonetheless….Stupid AhRee^^

 

 

 

 

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